Travel update

I made it to the coast, yay! Sickness and rain and cold could not stop me, I would have to be dead to not go see my beloved Oregon coast. I took many photos and I will be sharing those when I get home next week. I am still sick, but feeling better everyday. Next stop, Seattle, going to visit my cousin R. Wish I had time to visit with Sizzle, but I will be thinking of you, Sizzle dear while I am there :-). I miss visiting you guys so much! Have a happy, wonderful New Year!
XOXO

Yikes

Just a short post. I made it to Portland and had a lovely Christmas with my family, but I woke up sick this morning. I have not bee sick like this for 10 years. I am hoping we can still go to the coast this weekend. My mom and I have not left the house since I arrived. The men in the house have been hunting and gathering like they should. I will give you an update on Monday.
Happy weekend! XOXO

Leaving on a jet plane, hopefully...

My cat Max wants to go with me on my trip to Portland :-). I wish all my boys could go.

There is snow coming down here and snow coming down in Portland, which is where I am headed. I don't leave until Wednesday, but by the looks of things, it will be even worse then.

I live 3 hours away from the airport, so it is not like I can turn around and go home, plus I am taking a shuttle which is expensive. All I can do is wait and see what happens. Please send up prayers to whatever God you believe in that I make it home by Christmas.

You all have a wonderful Christmas! I will have some limited access to the Internet while I am away, but very little time. I will peek in and perhaps even post from time to time if I can, but will be missing you all very much! Much love your way. XOXO

Full Circle

My angst and struggling have gone full circle into acceptance and the realization that I don't need anything in my life to be different. Funny how I am constantly going back and forth between these two states :-). The one thing that has changed as I have grown older, is the space of time between when I am struggling to acceptance gets shorter, and the space of time from Acceptance back to struggle takes longer :-). Progress is made, however slowly. Happy Saturday!

Taos Mountain

This is what my beautiful mountain looks like right now, I will be taking more photos of it as the snow days pass. It is so lovely covered in snow, don't you think? The snow has stopped for a couple days, but due back on Monday and Tuesday, I am hoping that it does not interfere with my travel plans, the airport is 3 hours away, so the snow could be a problem, but I am attempting no to worry :-). Trying to be oh so Zen and detach from outcome, easier said than done :-). I received a lovely card from two friends in San Francisco, B and K. They just celebrated 40 years together! I just wanted to say, wow! If you are reading this, I am so happy for you both! You are my shiny example of a relationship that works. That's all for me tonight.

Much love.

Struggling

For the last few weeks I have been struggling with something and I thought I would ask you all what you do when you need to let go of a person, someone you love very much. How do you do it? How do you stop loving someone? Or is letting go different than not loving? I can easily put a stop to negative thoughts and even not thinking about this person, but then wham I am thinking of them and when I do I feel sad. I know I am not the first who has had to deal with this, so if any of you have some sure fire remedy please share :-). Thanks.

Contemplative

I took this picture today. It has been snowing non-stop. I love how everything gets so quiet when it snows. This is how I am feeling these days, quiet and contemplative, calm and accepting. Gearing up for when I leave next week to go home for the holidays, it will be a busy and fun time. What are you doing for Christmas (if you celebrate it) ? XOXO

Passion for Art

This is going to be a post about art. Art fills up my life, not just making art, but looking at it as well, and I wanted to tell you about some of the artists I am passionate about. I don't know about sharing photos, so to be safe I will just provide links. First up a man I am madly in love with and would be stalking if he were alive is Willem de Kooning. Talk about passion, this man painted with so much passion his canvases are on fire. Next, a woman who lived in Taos, her name is Rebecca James and she painted wonderful reverse paintings on glass, she was also married to the famous photographer Paul Strand. Moving on to the living: my #1 favorite artist is Cecily Brown. She is younger than me and way famous and well she should be, she amazes me with each new work, knocks me out. My dream is to see one of her paintings in the flesh. Another painter I am in awe of is lucian Freud, he is the grandson of Sigmund freud and he is one of the best painters I have ever seen. I could look at his work for hours and never get tried of it. One artist that is at the top of her game is Jenny Saville. Her work is often disturbing and I probably would not be able to live with most of it, but her handling of paint is exquisite. Last but not least is a local man and a friend of mine and I think his paintings are delicious, Jack Smith, scroll down midway on this link to see Jack's paintings.
Now you know a bit more about me.
If you are an art lover, please share with me the artists you are inspired by. Happy Sunday.

Quiet

That is how I feel today, so nothing to say, but I will give you this tiny bit of beauty I found in the snow the other day. Happy weekend, everyone.

Doves

I took this photo the other morning when it was cloudy and still somewhat dark outside. These are my doves, there are about five, that live in my neighborhood. They come and eat in my yard everyday and I have fallen in love with them, I adore their plaintive call and how gentle and careful they are. I also love their sand like color and these doves all have a half circle of a black ring around their necks. When I am sad or sometimes a little lost, nature in all it's glory is the one thing that can always make me smile, no matter what. What makes you smile when you are sad? XOXO

Loving my life...

I have been a little blue lately, due mostly to those darn hormones, but today the clouds lifted and I realized again for the millionth time that to be happy one must accept what is, and not just accept it, but embrace it, love it even. This is my wish: To fall in love with my life, just as it is warts and all. I may paint for the rest of my life and never make a living at it, I love painting and will do it even if I never sell another painting, so why be sad because I am not one of the lucky few who make it? I may never meet a man I can love and live with (sometimes it is hard to find that perfect combination :-), but I have tons of lovely friends and my four animal boys, so I am never lonely and I am a loner by nature, so perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. I will trust that whatever is going on in my life, it is there for a reason, a teaching or a blessing and all I have to do is accept it and find the good. This way of life is also informed by being brave, since I have been doing the be brave project, I have learned that whenever I get scared, I remember how brave I am and it makes me more brave (did that make sense?). Brave enough to put one foot in front of the other and trust that I can do whatever I have to and be happy doing it :-).
What did you have to accept lately and what were you brave about this week?
XOXO

Random thoughts...

This is another photo of Taos mountain. I take a lot of photos of this mountain because it is an awesome presence in this town. The energy it exudes is very powerful. This mountain is the reason I live here, the first year, I cried whenever I looked at it. It still moves me in a way I can't describe.

I just returned from helping my friend J load his mom's stuff in a truck(she is moving to Dallas) and also helping were friends J and L. I like to think of them as my posse of men. I love them very much and my best friend in the world is J, not sure I could get along without him, I feel so close to him he is like my brother. We had a blast today and had a little party after loading the truck. Drinks were served :-).

I have been thinking a lot about my art and why it is not out in the world yet. I don't have any easy answers. I do believe my work is good and deserves better than is gets. Sometimes I just think it is the luck of the draw, or who you know, or perhaps it is fate. I am a bit tired of the struggle and have decided to stop struggling, just do the art and let the chips fall where they may. I am no longer going to knock my head on gallery doors.

So there, that is what is on my mind today. I am off to do Christmas stuff, like make out cards and make a list of what I still have to do before I leave on my trip.

Happy Sunday all. XOXO

Goofy

This is Max being bad. He loves the sink, so I have to constantly clean it. When I cook I have to keep him occupied otherwise he harasses me, so the other day I gave him a fresh string bean to play with, he loved it and played with it for hours, so yesterday I bought a bag of beans just for him. A fresh one everyday :-). He brought me one last night to throw and I think I threw it about 20 times. Okay, I admit it, my cats are weird :-) and so am I :-). Happy Friday. XOXO

What I have been up to...

I have been deep in making Christmas cards for family

and friends. I finished them this Sunday and can now work

on some other art projects. I started a med-large bowl and

soon I will be working on a large painting and my very neglected

book. My plan is to work on the book all Winter and be done by Spring.

I also want to get better with my ceramics.

Besides work and running and cards, I have not been doing much.

Feeling very antisocial and have not been wanting to even return phone

calls. I am a bit of a hermit and I can go long stretches without

seeing or talking to another person. I love people, don't get me wrong,

but I have to be in the mood.

I am getting excited about going home (Portland Oregon) for

the holidays. I have not been home over Christmas for a few years.

I will miss my animal boys, but I found a great pet sitter and will feel

fine leaving them with her.

This seems like a very boring post to me, but I will let it stand as

information you can take or leave :-) as you wish.

Happy Wednesday.

Spread a little love

As an artist, I am struggling to get myself out there into the world.
Someone once said (I forget who), that a piece of art does not really live
until it is seen by others. I think in a way they are right. In an effort
to help other artists, I am linking you to a few artists that I think you
will admire. I may make this a weekly or bi-weekly thing. Please go give
them some blog love :-).
First up is a dear woman and a kindred spirit, Lisa Plummer, she
does art straight from her heart. Then there is Paula Snyder, she
is an artist who lives in my state and she paints delightful, colorful
paintings that will lift your spirits. Last but not least is Sukipoet,
who is a very inventive and soulful artist.
XOXO

Rumi poem

Rumi's The Guest House:

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.


For me this poem is a reason to live.
It tells you everything you need to know
for a happy life: Don't resist, flow. XOXO
P.S. I got this poem at Mermaid's blog
and she was happy to share :-).

Award time!

The lovely Dagny gave me this award ages ago and I am just

now getting to it.

My 5 Fabulous Addictions:

1. Art, in all forms. I love looking at it, making it and reading about it.

2. Reading. I mostly go for stellar fiction, I don't read junk. I also like

non fiction books on art and spirituality.

3. Movies, again it has to be a good film, I hate wasting 2 hours watching

crap.

4. Running. I hope I can run until I am dead :-).

5. Animals, all kinds, but mostly cats, dogs, horses and goats. Yes, goats, I love em to bits.

Here are the rules to receiving this award:1. You have to pass it on to 5 other fabulous blogs in a post.2. You have to list 5 of your fabulous addictions in the post.3. You must copy and paste the rules and the instructions below in the post.Instructions: On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them. When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well. To add the award to your post, simply right-click, save image, then "add image" it in your post as a picture so your winners can save it as well. To add it to your sidebar, add the "picture" gidget.Also, don't forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by emailing them or leaving a comment on their blog.

Okay, here are my award winners:

1.The wonderful Sukipoet.

2.The delightful Pia.

3.My lovely friend M.Kate.

4.Robin, great photographer and writer!

5. And the amazing Melanie.

It was hard to pick just five, as I think you are all wonderful, so go ahead

and take this award if you so desire.

Happy day after Thanksgiving! I am cleaning house, how about you?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

This will be me tomorrow evening after eating all day :-).

I know I am a day early, but I will be too busy cooking and

eating tomorrow to post. I have been a bad blogger and have not posted much

lately at all, I will do better next week and fill you in on what

I have been up too. Have a lovely Thanksgiving, if you live where

it is celebrated and if not Happy Thursday :-). XOXO

P.S.I almost forgot the most important part of tomorrow, gratitude! There is so much to

be grateful for. I have a huge list, but the most important part of that list, is family and friends and my

four animal boys. What are you grateful for today?

What do men want?

Men are all the time asking what women want,
I thought I would ask the same question of the men.
I know I don't have many male readers, but I expect to
hear from both of you :-). I have been thinking of this
for a long time.
I ask this because most (not all) of
the crazy, high maintenance women I know have men, and
the wonderful, sweet women I know don't (there are exceptions).
You know how men are all the time saying that woman like bad boys, well
I think it is true of men too, they like bad women.
I am pretty sure looks don't matter much in this equation, as most of
the women I know are all good looking. I lump myself in
with the wonderful, sweet women. I fail miserably at
relationship. I don't mind this so much because I am a loner,
but would like to one day have a mate :-). So, guys help me out.
What do you want your dream woman to be like? Since I have very
few male readers, any of you, male or female that has advice, please give it to me.
I probably should not post right before bed, I tend to ramble
and ask silly questions :-).
Sweet dreams. XOXO

Life is weird and crazy on top

A photo of my other three boys, Mr.B, Max and Spike

taking a snooze.

I don't have much to say tonight except that something

happened yesterday(too personal to share on my blog or

with most of my family and friends, so don't ask) that should

have left me feeling very sad, and it did for a few hours, but

the really weird thing is, I woke up this morning feeling very

light and free and happy. Sometimes what you think you want,

is not really what you want, you know what I mean? I basically

got a no from the Universe, and it turned out to be perfect.

I hope I am making sense, sometimes I can be too abstract :-).

Please share any stories about when you did not receive something

you wanted and realized you were happy about it, or when you got

what you wanted and did not like it? XOXO

Random thoughts...

This is a photo of my wonderful dog Zeus on the run :-).

I have a few things to report. First I had a couple of lovely, strange

things happen that I realized Coyote was alerting me to. Remember

the coyote story a few posts back? Whenever I see a coyote it means

that something extraordinary is about to happen, and this time was no

different. However I am sorry to say I cannot tell you about it as it involves

people who may read my blog and some parts of my life must stay private.

I just wanted you to now that I decoded the message :-).

As to other news: My Esty shop is not getting many visitors, any Esty shop

owners with any advice on how to get customers, please feel free

to pass it on to this beginner. I am not too upset by this lack of visitors, I realize

these things take time.

As of late I have been working with energy. We waste energy anytime we

judge or obsess on things like someone who did us wrong. I thought I was

pretty good about this stuff, but have noticed lately my poor attitude.

I took steps this week to change this around. Now an alarm goes off whenever

I find myself doing said behaviour. Wow. I found out I do it much more than

I am aware of. Imagine all the energy I will save! Perhaps I will gather enough

energy to make my dreams come true.

Life is too short to waste one minute on feeling blue. I confess I have been

blue for a couple weeks, but there has been a shift and I am glad I woke

up out of my stupor.

Happy Tuesday. XOXO

New cards and ornaments in my Esty shop

I finally got some new Holiday stuff put on my Esty shop.

Here is a small preview. Let me know what you think.

I just finished the last of my ornaments which will be fired

this week and hopefully on my Esty site by the end of Nov.

Next year I will start much earlier :-).

I am off to relax, read and play. Happy Sunday everyone.

Dream

I don't write about my dreams much because
I think you won't be interested, but this dream
has a message for us all. In my dream an angel
appeared in the form of a black woman in dreadlocks.
She smiled and twirled around with her arms outstretched
and said to me "Do what brings you joy and happiness,
do what you love".
This past two weeks I have been working on photos of
new work for the shop, but I have done no art, none!
I think this was a message to get to it :-).
I am still working on coyote's message, but I think
it has something to do with hope, and love.
Happy weekend everyone. XOXO

Coyote

This photo taken by Geraint Smith.

I saw a coyote while running this morning. It has been at

least a year and a half since I last saw my old friend.

I never told you all the story about how a coyote came in

to the gallery where I worked a couple years ago. It was afternoon

around four o'clock on a late Summer's day. I was sitting at the

computer in the office and I heard the ringer go off to alert me

that someone was there. A few seconds later a coyote stood

staring at me. Now the really amazing thing is that this coyote,

not only had to come to town to see me, he had to go through a

closed in courtyard and through two rooms with small doors.

I talked to a man who knows a lot about coyotes and he said a

coyote would never enter a space like that, well mine did :-).

Coyotes have always brought me messages by their appearances.

Sometimes I get the message, sometimes I don't. I have been thinking

hard about what that coyote was trying to tell me this morning.

It feels important is all I know for sure.

Snow!

This is what I woke up to yesterday morning. It was a shock.

I always feel like it is Christmas when it snows. I love snow

even though I hate driving in it. It has all melted already

and all is clear today. The picture is so dark because it was

6 in the morning when I took it. I am off on a run so I have

to keep this post short. I will be posting photos of ornaments soon.

I finally have a few completed :-). Have a great Tuesday.

What I love today...

I love these little dead flowers I snapped a photo of yesterday

on my run.

I love my little snap and shoot camera.

I love my four animal boys.

I love my new, bigger work room.

I love "Iron Man" the movie, I watched Friday night.

I love the book "Water for Elephants", I started reading

in bed this morning.

I love reading in my cozy bed with my animal boys huddled

around me.

I love that Forrest is home.

I love that Obama is our new president!

I love my family and friends.

I love blogging.

I love you all. Happy Sunday. What do you love today?

Living in the moment

Beautiful photo of the buddha taken by Geraint Smith.

There has been so much on my mind and in my life that

everyday I have to remind myself to slow down and stay

in the moment. When I get going and my mind is racing,

I think, how will I pay my bills, how will I afford to go home

(Portland Oregon) for Christmas, I need to sell some art...

In the mist of this mind storm I remember, oh yeah, I need

to stay in the now. I take a deep breath. Then, I ask myself

how things are in the moment, and I realize, things are great.

Plenty of money and a lovely trip home in the planning

stages. I have all I need. Nothing is wrong :-). I then

remind myself to trust where I am, love where I am, and

trust that the future is taken care of, I don't have to worry or

toil. What a relief :-). There is so much freedom in trust.

My wish is that I could stay in this state always, but life

is after all imperfect and that is also a joy. How boring if it

were perfect. Please share any tales about trust.

Happy Thursday everyone. XOXO

Bright, Happy Day!

I cried last night when I heard that Obama won.
This is a happy day indeed. It is a new world.
I am filled with hope for the future :-).
We should all be so proud :-).
XOXO

And the winner is...

No, silly, not the winner of the election, the winner
of my Anniversary give away. I put all your names in
a bag and em is the winner!!! I don't even know what
the prize will be yet, but it will include something I made.
em congratulations, it could not happen to a better blogger
:-). This is fun, I may make it a regular thing around here, if
I can afford the postage :-). Happy election day all. XOXO

HOPE

Tomorrow is the big day. I have not said anything
about this election because I am not a very political
person. I have a hard time getting worked up about
any of it, but I am going to say a little bit here in honor
of a man I believe is our best hope. I won't tell you I
think you should vote, or who to vote for, but I will
tell you that I think Obama is the only choice. This
is what I believe with my heart and my mind.
When I was very young (and this will really age me :-),
I loved Bobby Kennedy and the day he was shot was
very dark. I lost hope then in the political system.
Obama has brought back just a glimmer of that hope.
For me, today, he is the only choice.
Blessings on him and may the Gods smile on him tomorrow
and on us all :-).

1st Blogging Anniversary

I realized with a shock that today is my blogging anniversary.

One year ago, today I started this adventure and it has truly been

a wonderful one. To celebrate I want to have a little give away.

I will make it a surprise. All the names of everyone who leaves a

comment will go into a hat and the name I draw will receive

a surprise from me within the next 2 months :-). I will announce

the winner on Tuesday evening, so you have until then to comment.

I want to thank you all for your support and love in the last year,

it has meant a lot as I have been through a sea of changes.

When this blog started I was madly in love with an old flame and

planning on a move to LA to be with him, sadly that did not work out.

I also quit my job and did the Be Brave project. My world has done

a spin in the last year and I got to take you with me, thanks for

being there. XOXOXOXO

P.S. I took this photo of Taos mountain on my run, special for Suki :-).

Happy Halloween!

I am sorry, I could do no better than this little pumpkin,

it will have to do. I have been feeling overwhelmed and

a bit sad about some things, so I am not posting much.

I will try to do better next week. One thing I am learning

that I will share with you more later, is that everything is

perfect just as it is, acceptance is the key to happiness. I

am working on it :-). Happy weekend! XOXO

Grand Opening of my Esty shop!

Finally, I have my Esty shop up and running (I think).

I plan on adding many new items in the next few weeks,

more cards, ornaments and ceramics (if they turn out :-),

and eventually more small paintings. I will always keep

you posted when I add new things.

Any feedback is most welcome :-).

Have a wonderful week everyone.

Bliss

This is a photo I took the other day while running, weird

cloud formation. I am done with my rooms. Pure bliss as today

I can work on art, which is what I am going to go do right now :-).

Please tell me what gives you bliss today?

Happy Sunday! XOXO

Purging

Taking a break to give you an update as to my progress
in the switching of the rooms.
I am down to 8 piles of things I know not what to do with
and 2 closets to transfer, plus a very neglected and dirty
house to clean, but I can see the end of the tunnel ;-).
What has been taking me so long is the fact that I have
to go through everything and purge. It seems like the
thing to do. It needed to be done long ago and this forces
me to do it. Why, oh why, do we (I) hang on to useless things
way past the point of ever in my wildest dreams using
said useless thing? Like for instance a 25 year old tennis
racket. Even if I did decide on a whim to take up tennis again,
this racket is obsolete! Out it goes! Many items like this are
leaving and I am feeling lighter and lighter as I fill up
one trash bag after another. I am also giving much that is
still useful away. Do any of you have this probelm of hanging
on? There is still a lot I could let go of, but I am just not
ready yet. One tiny step at a time...
Share with me your stories of hanging on and letting go.
XOXOXO

Be Brave

I read this poem on Raven's blog, I had to share.
"I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid, more accessible, to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch, a promise.
I choose to risk my significance,
to live so that which came to me as seed
goes to the next as blossom,and that which came to me as blossom,goes on as fruit."
~by Dawna Markova (I Will Not Die an Unlived Life)
:-). XOXO

Changes...

Just peeking in for a minute to let you know what I am up to.
For the last 2 days I have been switching my bedroom with my
art/office room. One reason I switched them is because I need
more room for my art stuff and the bedroom was bigger.
This project has proved to be more intense than I had first
thought :-). I am sitting here in a mess beyond belief.
I will get most of it done today, however, and just in time for
work tomorrow :-).
I just keep thinking how wonderful it will be when I am finished.
Happy Sunday everyone. XOXO
P.S. All my animal boys hate me right now.

What made my day magic...

1. My mom got through the procedure just fine.
She is awake and asking for coffee :-). Thanks for your
prayers.
2. As I was running this morning I saw this bird, I have
seen before, but it always takes my breath away. When
it flies it's wings are this perfect, wonderful shade of
blue. It is a blue so rich and alive I have not seen it
anywhere else in nature. (Note to self, look up this bird
and find out it's name :-).
3. I took photos of more of my art today and got them ready for
my Esty site and picked up fired pieces of my pottery and
dropped off ornaments to fire. All the while thinking how much
I love my job of being an artist, even the business side of it.
4. The fact that I am now going to go work on a large bowl
I started last weekend and get my hands into clay.
What made your day special? Please share. XOXO

Prayers and positive thoughts...

My mom B is having a procedure done tomorrow.
It is not supposed to be life threatening, but you
just never know. Please send happy thoughts her
way, it could not hurt :-). Thanks. Love you mom.

Hey

My dog Zeus. Is this not a wonderful shot? I am just peaking

in to say hi and give you this little gift of love. XOXO

Holiday Craft

Max helping me make Christmas cards :-).

A closer look at the cards.

Ornaments in the raw clay stage.

This is how I have been spending the last couple of days.

Having so much fun and I find it very relaxing. I also finally

got my Esty shop up, but have many more items to add

before I am ready to have my grand opening, I am

very close and you all will be the first I tell.

Let me know what you think so far...

I will leave you with this quote by Willem de Kooning that says it all for me:

I can't help it.

I stayed in this world of childish wonder,

I think that a lot of creative people never grow up.

I am certain a real man would not paint any pictures!

Or wonder about the universe

Or believe in dreams.

Or think that trees sometimes look at him.

Have a wonderful Sunday!

Time!?

I thought it was time to post a photo of a couple of my boys.

This is Spike and Max.

Today, was one of those days. I had so much I wanted to do

and I did none of it except this post. At least I did one thing

today :-). The more I complained to myself about it, the faster

time went. I can't tell you what happened (nothing happened:-).

I think I just puttered around too much. Finally I let

go and made it okay :-). There is always tomorrow, right?

We all seem to have so much to do and run around frantic

to get it all done. Today, midway I stopped and realized I

was not in the moment. I was not in flow. That was almost

enough to set me right again, except I went back into frantic

rather fast and lost it again. Oh, well, time, can't live with it,

can't live without it :-). I hope you all had a grand day!

What's up...

I've been busy and unable to post much of read many
blogs the last few days. Working a bit and also making
art which I will show you soon. My Esty shop is coming
soon, it has taken me a while to get it together, but I am
almost there. I have been having a blast making holiday
ornaments to sell on Esty. I have plans to sell
cards as well. When I look at my future I see so much fun
ahead making things and falling in love everyday with clay
and paint :-).
On the family front, please continue to send good thoughts
out for my cousin R. Also my mom could use some too as
she is having some health issues of her own.
Not much for you today. I promise a real post soon.
XOXO

Beauty

After yesterday's post I needed to balance things out.

When I hear stories like Vestine's it always challenges

my world view. I thought of nothing else after reading

about her. After much thought I came back around full

circle and said yes, I still believe that most people are

good and kind. Yes, I believe that there is much beauty

and love to be found. I still believe in magic :-). I cannot

let the horror in the world be all I see. I also thought

a lot about the men who did those awful things to Vestine.

What horrors and insanity brought them to be as they are?

I myself have not lived a perfect charmed life. I have seen

my own horrors and those in my family have seen worse than

me and none of us can compare what we went through with what

Vestine has lived. My point is, is that many of us have had trauma

in our lives, but somehow we keep going, we keep smiling.

It must be grace. Grace keeps us alive. Beauty, love, kindness.

Peace and love be with you today and all days.

Photo by Geraint Smith

Horror

I copied this from Yoli, who copied it from Maryam and I must tell you this story is horrific.
When I even think about complaining about my life, I will think about this poor woman and the others like her. This story has affected me like no other. I, like Yoli and Maryam can not look away...

In order to reach as many people as possible I am copying Maryam's ( My Marrakesh ) post to my blog. Please, read and if you find it in your heart to help, please do:

She has a small, neat head, her features delicately sketched, her teeth very white. Her grey suit is too large for her narrow frame but her cream shoes are polished and she moves with a certain elegance on ankles impossibly slim.Her name is Vestine. She's 42 and she survived the Rwandan genocide.Vestine was rounded up one night and held captive in a stadium with others. Left without food, on the fifth day, she began to eat grass, one green blade after another. It was that day, too, that a soldier marched her to the sordid bathroom and ordered her to take off all her clothes. Her hands twisting in her lap, she says,"He told me he wanted to see if Tutsi women were made differently than Hutu women. Then...then he raped me." The next day it was a different soldier, this one trying to force his penis into her mouth. When she protested, he clubbed her on the head. With her fingers lightly tapping her face, Vestine describes how the blood streamed into her eyes and down her nose, as she did what he required.Vestine's story continues, relentless. After they had had their fill of her, you see, the soldiers would force her down on her hands and knees, straddle her back, and ride her around the stadium like a donket, beating the soles of her feet with a stick urging her to go faster and faster.When she was finally brought back to her home, Vestine found her husband and two brothers on the floor, hacked to death by machete. By day, she was raped over and over by a soldier who held her captive. By night, the dogs would come and feast on the rotting bodies of the people she loved most.After weeks, Vestine was ordered to the local Hutu commander's house. Vestine fought back, perhaps her fatal mistake. Her voice faltering, she looks down at her lap and whispers,"The commander took a knife and then he mutilated my genitals, cutting off ....cutting off everything I had left there. Then....then, he made me swallow what he had taken from me."Vestine survived the genocide, rescued by a Hutu neighbor who hid her. Two of her three children also survived, the third was killed by a grenade when he tried to flee into the mountains.It was only seven years later that Vestine -- broken and sick -- found out that she had been infected by HIV/AIDs.Vestine, and thousands like her, are now being helped by AVEGA, a Rwandan NGO dedicated to widows of the genocide. Their funds are small but their hearts are big.Could you, would you find room in your heart to help, too? In a different dark life, in a different dark space, it could have been you, in Vestine's place. It could have been me in Vestine's place.Is fifty dollars too much? Or perhaps 25 dollars if times are tough? Might someone also help me by taking donations via their Paypal account? (I don't have one and can't get one in Morocco.) Any mentions on blogs would be incredibly appreciated, too. Leave a comment or email me at maryam at mtds.com if you would like to help. I promise you -- with a certainty that is desperately sad -- that this will be the most meaningful money you spend all month.My week has been filled with horror -- I can't look away. Please, please, don't you look away, too.

No Fear

Perhaps the world is falling apart, who am I to know,
but I will tell you one thing I have learned, worry does
not help. When things happen that I have no power over,
I have found it is best to let go and trust that everything
that is happening is for my best, no matter how awful it
may seem. It is often easier said than done, but I attempt
to accept what I can do nothing about.
Since doing the Be Brave project (which I will do for life :-),
I have learned to stick my tongue out at fear. I first
stare it down, stand up really tall and laugh.
What is there to fear? Oh, I guess there are a million things
to be afraid of, but I figure I really don't have the time.
We are given such a small, fleeting bit of time, what a waste
to be in fear, ever. Of course, sometimes fear comes in handy
and we need to heed it, but most of the time we fear things
that will NEVER happen. I have abused fear in my lifetime,
by letting it get the best of me when there was nothing there,
just some story I told myself. Fear is now my friend, it was meant
only to let us know when to flee, but our society has twisted it
into a full time profession :-). I am so grateful that I found
the Be Brave project, it has changed my life.
Speaking of brave, my cousin R is the bravest person I know,
he is facing chemo next week and he is so full of positive energy
and life. He makes me ashamed to complain about anything.
Thank you all for your prayers.
Hope you all had a grand Monday, let me know what fears
you stared down this week.

My friend's new resort:Victoria's Last Resort

In the lovely seaside town of Cambria California, my good

friend V has opened a one of a kind resort. Small and intimate

with a beautiful suite done to perfection by my friend who is an

artist sublime. She is also a wonderful cook and will be making

the meals herself. Check out her site and see for yourself.

Be sure and give a look at the gardens which are to die for.

Even if you are not planning a trip, you will have fun looking

at her beautiful website. Victoria's Last resort.

Pot of gold

Took this photo a couple days ago at the house I am working at.

Not much to say today. Hope you are all well and happy.

Please keep my cousin R in your thoughts, he starts Chemo

in a couple days. Happy Birthday to my friend D!

That's all folks :-).

XOXO

Sweetness

I took this photo a couple days ago, under my portal.

This sweet little guy posed for me and this is one of

many shots I took. All the other birds flew away, but

this one was brave and stuck around.

I have been busy storing nuts for the Winter :-).

Life is so good. Today I looked in the mirror and

into my own eyes. I looked past my 52 years and I

saw a happy little girl of around age 8 :-), she is still

alive and well and living inside me :-).

What do you see when you look into your own eyes?

XOXO

Silly pottery

I forgot that I promised to show you these two weeks ago.

I got busy and forgot all about it. These are the first pottery

things I made from start to finish. Does anyone remember

that first little cup I made? The top one is the cup finished.

I don't like the colors and there are some flaws in the glaze,

but I still love it. Next is the Flintstones creamer and sugar bowl.

They shrunk a lot and are now tiny :-). Then comes the first

tea cup, I like this one, but it has a lot of flaws in the glaze.

Last is a big bowl, It is even too flawed for me to want

to use it, but I learned a lot making it. I have a couple other

pieces, but they are gifts and I don't want to spoil the surprise.

I learned so much making these, that the next bunch will be 100

times better. Hope you enjoyed this little journey of my clay failures :-).

Happy Sunday!

More September beauty

These are the wild sunflowers in Taos. Every year around

late August they spring up everywhere. I dearly love them.

They are so friendly and cheerful :-). I just thought I would

share. I am as busy as a bee, but will be back to art and

blogging more this weekend. XOXO

Ravens

My friend D, who I am working for feeds the ravens every

few days, today I took some photos. It was a rainy overcast

day, so forgive the poor quality. It is an amazing thing to watch

these beautiful birds. First two ravens come, one stays and the

other goes to alert the rest of their group, then one by one they

arrive, about 10-15. What is so lovely about it, is they all

sit around and wait. All that meat sitting there and they don't

go near it until the whole group has arrived, then one by one they

go and get a piece, fly away, eat it, or bury it and then fly back for more.

There is no feeding frenzy. The ravens are polite and kind, they even let

a small magpie come have some. These photos are of the ravens

waiting for the group to get there. Happy Monday! XOXOXO

Purple beauty

This is the yard of the house I am working at for 3 weeks.

The plant is called Russian Sage and it is my favorite plant

here in New Mexico. I am in charge of packing all art pieces

in the house and there is a lot. Having a great time.

I may be a bit exhausted at night, but it is worth it.

I am helping a friend and she is helping me, because I will

make enough money to get me through a couple more months :-).

I could do this for a living in this town, but I don't think I

would like it full time. I want to do my art after all, but

it is a good side job. I took these photo just for you.

Speaking of exhausted, I am ready for bed, but I am going

to work on my art photos in photo shop and see if

I can improve them. I am so dedicated :-). Have a

wonderful weekend! XOXO

Another new painting

#2 in the Sea series
this is a bit too light,

this detail is a bit more true to the color.

This is a small 6"x6", I worked all day on photos and I think

I am getting a bit better at it, what do you think? All of this

photo business is taking way longer then I expected, so I am

relaxing and have decided I will get my Esty site up when it gets up.

There are some things you cannot rush and this is one of them.

Update on my cousin R. I spoke with him today and he sounded good,

we talked for a long while and he has a really good attitude about it.

I feel better now that I talked to him. We will know in a couple weeks

how it looks, but they hope they got it all. keep praying :-). Thanks.

I start my 3 week job tomorrow. I love the person I will be working for

and while it will be hard work, it will also be fun.

I have been thinking the last few days how short life is, don't waste

one more minute, on anger, regret, or unhappiness. Life is a gift

and sooner or later we have to get that living from our heart

and being brave is the ONLY way to live. Blessings to you :-).

New painting

#1 in the Sea series

Detail

I just completed four new paintings and have

three more well on the way to being finished.

They are about the ocean, which I am missing

very much living here in New Mexico. I want to

work on the photo taking as they need to be better

for my Esty site, but it is getting too dark today

and I really wanted to share it with you now.

Feedback would be greatly appreciated :-).

Updates on stuff: Working hard to get paintings and

other projects done for my Esty site and I have a big

job for the coming next three weeks. The pay is wonderful

and it could not have come at a better time :-). I start

Wednesday or Thursday.

None of my clay pieces are saleable, but I will share

photos this week. I don't like how the colors turned out

and I need to work on the glazing.

For those of you wanting to know, I don't think I will

see the 27 year old again as we always met in the parking

lot by my old job and as I don't work there anymore we

will have to rely on fate :-).

I have not talked to my cousin R yet, he is not feeling

up to talking and that is understandable. Keep sending

well wishes please. I think we are caught up :-).

Let me know what you think of the new piece, thanks.

Award time

Thank you Melanie for this lovely award.

Here are the rules:

1. The winner can put the logo on her blog.

2. Link the person you received your award from.

3. Nominate at least 7 other blogs.

4. Put links of those blogs on yours.

5. Leave a message on the blogs of the girls or boys you've nominated.

I love you all, so I could not pick just seven of you, I pick all of you, but

I will point out seven blogs here:

1.Lisa, Uplifting, kindred spirit.

2.Eliezer, Very funny, spiritual guy.

3.Sizzle, Smart and funny.

4.AnnieH, Wonderful writer and caring woman.

5.Em, Witty and smart.

6.Suki, Talented, spiritual woman.

7.Robin, Upbeat and talented.

Remember you all get this award, if you are on my blog roll,

you get this award.

Update on my cousin R: We won't know if they got all the

cancer for two weeks. I will be able to talk to him tomorrow.

Thank you for all your prayers and well wishes.

I have many updates and things to share tomorrow.

Happy Sunday! XOXO

Sad news

I just found out one of my favorite cousins, R
has cancer and is having surgery today. I
won't name the cancer, but it is a really bad
one, the worst one. He is a little younger
than me and it breaks my heart. Please
send up prayers and good thoughts for him
to whatever God you believe in. Thanks.

3 wonderful things.

I got this from laini and for some reason I am
feeling a little blue today, so I thought it would
help me get back to myself. The deal is, you write
about 3 wonderful things, so here is my list for today:
1. Waking up and knowing I get to do art all day!
2. Going for a long, sweet run with my dog first thing.
3. The beautiful humming bird outside in my flower garden,
the one I have been trying to get a photo of all week.
I can't stop with 3 :-), so here are some more wonderful things:
4. My animal boys, they are the joy of my life and I am not sure
what I would do without them.
5. The colors blue and green and all the various shades of both
and the combined color they make.
6. Clay and paint and plaster and all the beauty that can be made
from them.
7. Imagination, where would we be without it-no where.
8. Friends, family and bloggers :-).
9. One more chance to live life with my whole heart and
never let fear rule my life again.
What are your 3 things? Happy Thursday. XOXO

Creative Bliss

I have been in a frenzy of creative activity.
Seven new small paintings started. Three
bowls, one mug and one plate made. I can't
keep this smile off my face :-). It is beyond
bliss. I have taken a three day a week job that
starts the end of the month. Three days is not
enough, but it is all I am willing to take as I feel
so strongly that now is the time to get my art out
into the world. It is what I am meant to do, it is
what I am happiest doing. Joseph Campbell's
often quoted quote-Follow your Bliss-is my
guiding light right now. It is so frightening to
trust this, yet for once in my life I am going to
do it. By the way the job came to me and was handed
to me without any effort at all, that is really the
only reason I am taking it as it feels right, for now
and at least I will have some money coming in, but
I will have 4 whole days to do art!!! So much better
than 2! For the next month I will have everyday
to make beauty. My plan is to have my Esty shop up
before 2 weeks. I will post photos of my new stuff soon.
Off to bed. Have a wonderful Wednesday! XOXOXO

The adventure continues

I had the best day yesterday and I wanted to share.
There was a big art opening last night at the gallery where
I show. My friends J and J went with me. I was a bit
nervous because I knew my old boss would be there.
He avoided me for a while which was easy because it
was really crowded in the gallery. However, he was soon
near enough that we had to speak to one another, so I
went first, I smiled and asked how he was then I forced him
to hug me :-). Later I saw his wife and she was just as friendly
and supportive as could be. It felt really good to force myself
to be brave and have it pay off so nicely :-). I am glad I got
that over with because I will be seeing him at functions a lot
in this town. I also had someone tell me that I had changed
their life by my example :-). Wow, no one has ever said that
to me before. The really wonderful part was yet to come.
I went to J's house with the other J and L joined us,
J's mom was also there. We shared art and talked into the evening
for hours. I was so inspired. I love my friends so much and
what is so cool is that J and J and L are men. I have found some
of my deepest and closest friendships to be with men. Don't get
me wrong I have deep, close friendships with women too, but not as
many. I am not sure why this is, but I am thrilled with the friends I have.
I felt so loved last night that I came home on a kind of cloud of joy.
I dreamed I could walk through walls and fly :-). Happy Sunday! XOXO
P.S. What made you joyful this week? Please share.

Doves

This photo is one I took yesterday. 10 doves were

in the tree and it looked so cool. If I had a high

powered lens it would be a really wonderful photo,

as it is I hope you can see the doves :-). I took all

my glazed pottery to the firing place today and she

said I will be surprised by how many will come out alright.

We will see. Many of the things shrunk, so they will likely

be too small to sell :-), but I am learning. Now I am making

things really LARGE :-). Also working on the book and

making phone calls. It is lovely to be home with my

animal boys, they like it too. That's it, just wanted to say hi.

Happy weekend! XOXO

When you leap...

The net appears. I have heard that saying a lot, but
I had never experienced it. Now I have. I felt the net
forming the minute I quit my job, which felt very
much like jumping off a cliff :-). I have another wee
job tomorrow and for the last two days I have worked
on glazing the nine clay pieces I have done. Glazing
is every bit as hard as I have been told and I am afraid
none of my pieces will be saleable, but I won't know until
they are fired. It's okay, I will learn :-). During the last few
days I have felt so calm and so loved and so very taken
care of. I KNOW all is well and I will never take or stay
in another job because of fear. This Be Brave project has
been the most powerful thing I have ever done. I am into my
second month and I am committed to it for life. I must say
it can be intense, look how much my life has changed since
I started doing it. I recommend it to anyone who is feeling
stuck or wants to change their life in a hurry :-).
Thanks for all of your moral support. I love you.

Spike and Max

That's it for today, just the photo, better than nothing :-).

Okay, just a few tidbits-I had a wee job today, an ex fellow

employee told me I was their hero :-), and I have a

standing invite to Dean's house, anytime :-). Other than

that it is just clay, clay, clay! Happy Monday! XOXOXO