Circling Around Trust

This photo has nothing to do with the post, I just think it's pretty :-). Life lately has been tough. There are a lot of things that happen that I choose to not write about here. Family issues, money issues and health issues are not things I really want to share, though sometimes I do. Lately I choose to keep them to myself or close friends. Many things have been weighing heavily of late and I have been having trouble sleeping. I worry, then I circle back round to trust. It always comes back to trust. Trusting what you may ask? Trusting myself and my intuition, trusting that I know or will know the right course of action. Trust in spirit, that I will be given all I need to move to the next step. Then I wake up and worry again, do my "Process", worry, process, but I always end up right back at trust. My goal is to just go to trust and leave all the worry in the trash where it belongs :-). Any thoughts on trust are welcome. Happy Saturday! XOXO

Trust Has its Rewards

Okay, now we are talking, today things started falling in place. First I called a woman here in Taos who takes care of feral cats, the same one who would not take Zoe, but what she will do is to pay for her tests, shots and to be spayed! So Wednesday she will go for her day at the vets and then we can begin the work of either integrating her into my world or finding her a good home. I am really in love with her, so she will likely stay if my boys and her all get along.
Then, THEN, the gas boys came and turned on all my heat and my hot water!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Life can get back to normal and I can get back to work tomorrow. Also I made 3 lovely sales on my ETSY site, one by my sweet sister L. Thanks sweetie. Looks like this is going to be a good week. I hope for all of you too. Thank you for all of your sweet words and thoughts. Happy Monday! XOXO

What I Learned Last Week

Life can be rough, it can suck and it can break your heart, but even at it's worst there is always a bit of magic to be found. On my worst day with Spike, the day I thought he was gone, I said to myself "When are you going to LIVE how you BELIEVE?". That thought turned me around.
It has been my mantra. I believe that all things happen for a reason, I believe I can trust the process. I am taking all things that come to me as a gift. Some days I do better than others, but I am learning.
Spike is home and happy. I have to give him the fluids twice a week and the vet and I decided to not risk his life with the surgery to take his stone out. Everyday I have with him is a precious gift
and I see it always has been. Same for everything. I wish that I could always see this, when I am in a hurry or stressed, I often miss all the treasures around me.
I had a lovely gift arrive yesterday in the form Of blogger friend Kj. We had little time, but made good use of it. I will share photos of the meeting soon and (gasp) you may just get to see what I look like :-).
Another gift was the wonderful Kate P, blogger, and art supporter who bought stuff on my ETSY site and helped so much to boost my moral. Thank you Kate P!
Today is my mom's birthday- HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!! Love you.
Have a great Tuesday everyone. XOXO

Max the Hero Cat

This is Max and he is a sort of hero around here and also a killer. We had a mouse come in yesterday and he ate him (or her). I do feel sorry for the poor mouse, but I am also happy that Max deals with it for me, so I am a bit torn about rather Max is a good or bad kitty :-).

I have been busy making and glazing ceramics and will have more to show in a week or so.

The jobs come and they go, I am learning to trust where ever I am at the moment. It is a hard lesson to learn, but I am learning it. What are you learning today? Happy Tuesday! XOXO

Stay Awake

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you want.
Don't go back to sleep.
people are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.
-Rumi
I am fighting to stay awake. To keep trusting and to not give in to stress and worry. I know spirit won't let me down, but being in the world as you all know it is hard when you are bombarded with messages from everyone of fear and nay saying.
Tonight my gallery is having a group show and I am praying and crossing all fingers and toes that I sell something, or many somethings :-). Please send me some good energy tonight.
Have a wonderful Friday! XOXO

My Adventure in Trust

This life I am living is turning into something I never dreamed nor even thought of.
A life lived moment to moment (as it should be)accepting whatever comes and falling in love with it on a daily basis. Is there stress? Yes, if I allow myself to worry and listen to the stories my mind cooks up. Do I give in to stress? Sometimes, but less and less as I trust more and more.
What exactly am I trusting? First, I trust spirit, I trust the direction I get from spirit and I trust myself. Just as all jobs were done, and bills were paid, I got a little nervous because I had nothing scheduled and knew what little I had left would not last long. Then like clockwork I got three calls for jobs. The phone is silent for two weeks then three calls in one day :-). And the best part is that I have a lot more wonderful time to do my art and play and visit friends. I am more able to live in the now and trust more everyday. When I start to get nervous I ask myself if after 53 years of being superbly taken care of, spirit would suddenly take time off :-).
How much do you trust? Any stories to tell about how trust and bravery paid off?
Happy Tuesday! XOXO

More on Trust

I feel as if I am on a special journey here and I love that I get to take you along with me, and at the same time I feel as if there may not be a journey if I did not have you to share it with.
It seems as if this blog make things more possible, because I write it and share it, it has to come true. Does that make any sense and do any of you feel the same way?
The adventure I have started is one of trust and being brave. I am finally learning to trust myself and to trust spirit. Some friends and family support this adventure and some are really afraid that I will end up on the street. Living with trust from day to day, without a job or money coming in on a daily basis, is scary. It is probably the scariest thing I have ever done.
I am hearing many stories of others who live this way, and guess what, they are not homeless, they are thriving and living the life of their dreams. These stories of success make me bolder and braver.
To have confidence in my art, to know that spirit is calling the shots and going ahead of me and creating miracles and meetings and helping me make my way, that is the way to success.
I told you all that I got a new gallery, but I never told you the story as to how it happened, and I think I should, it will help you see what I keep babbling about :-).
For a while now I have been visiting a friend's mom in a nursing home (G), now G has a roommate (E), E has a son (B). The son and I were talking one day and I mentioned my paintings, he just happened to own a gallery(I had no idea he owned a gallery). I took pieces down for him to see and B and his wife loved them.
That is how spirit works, no fuss, no muss. No striving or pounding on doors.
Where all this will lead, only spirit knows, but I am going to continue to float down this river and see what happens. I am so glad you are here to go with me :-).
Happy Monday! XOXO

Trust

This photo has nothing to do with the post today, I just thought it was time for a cat photo and Max (pictured) is in my lap as I speak. He is making it very hard to type :-). As I have no job or real money coming in (yet) I have been thinking a lot about trust and security. I have come to the conclusion that security is an illusion and thinking because you have money or a husband or a job that you are secure is a false belief. To put security in money or another person, just sets you up to fall because one thing we all have to learn sooner or later is that the only security is in source, some call it God, but I prefer source or spirit. I have always believed this, but now, as I have nothing else, I must trust this knowledge and let my life flow in the direction that spirit is pulling me. The funny thing is, that when I am easy and not afraid, when I am in joy and going with the flow, money is coming in, just when I need it. I get a call for a small job, or my tax refund arrives. I am hoping that this will also translate into selling a painting someday soon :-), but I am not going to tell spirit how to do it's job. All I have to do is show up with my heart open and be willing to trust that all is well and that I am always taken care of. This does not work if one gets fearful or in despair, so keeping a light heart is essential, which is sometimes hard to do when you are faced with the unknown. I am doing pretty good today :-). Living life in this way is free and easy and like floating down a river on a sunny day. I highly recommend it. Happy Monday. XOXO

Trusting

I received bad news yesterday from two camps. I am not ready to share the news, and I will not worry or get upset about any of it, instead I am trusting. To help the spirit of joy and love along I offer this e.e. Cummings poem:

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any-lifted from the no
of all nothing-human merely being
doubt unimaginable you?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Have a wonderful weekend! XOXO

Life is weird and crazy on top

A photo of my other three boys, Mr.B, Max and Spike

taking a snooze.

I don't have much to say tonight except that something

happened yesterday(too personal to share on my blog or

with most of my family and friends, so don't ask) that should

have left me feeling very sad, and it did for a few hours, but

the really weird thing is, I woke up this morning feeling very

light and free and happy. Sometimes what you think you want,

is not really what you want, you know what I mean? I basically

got a no from the Universe, and it turned out to be perfect.

I hope I am making sense, sometimes I can be too abstract :-).

Please share any stories about when you did not receive something

you wanted and realized you were happy about it, or when you got

what you wanted and did not like it? XOXO

Living in the moment

Beautiful photo of the buddha taken by Geraint Smith.

There has been so much on my mind and in my life that

everyday I have to remind myself to slow down and stay

in the moment. When I get going and my mind is racing,

I think, how will I pay my bills, how will I afford to go home

(Portland Oregon) for Christmas, I need to sell some art...

In the mist of this mind storm I remember, oh yeah, I need

to stay in the now. I take a deep breath. Then, I ask myself

how things are in the moment, and I realize, things are great.

Plenty of money and a lovely trip home in the planning

stages. I have all I need. Nothing is wrong :-). I then

remind myself to trust where I am, love where I am, and

trust that the future is taken care of, I don't have to worry or

toil. What a relief :-). There is so much freedom in trust.

My wish is that I could stay in this state always, but life

is after all imperfect and that is also a joy. How boring if it

were perfect. Please share any tales about trust.

Happy Thursday everyone. XOXO