More on Trust

I feel as if I am on a special journey here and I love that I get to take you along with me, and at the same time I feel as if there may not be a journey if I did not have you to share it with.
It seems as if this blog make things more possible, because I write it and share it, it has to come true. Does that make any sense and do any of you feel the same way?
The adventure I have started is one of trust and being brave. I am finally learning to trust myself and to trust spirit. Some friends and family support this adventure and some are really afraid that I will end up on the street. Living with trust from day to day, without a job or money coming in on a daily basis, is scary. It is probably the scariest thing I have ever done.
I am hearing many stories of others who live this way, and guess what, they are not homeless, they are thriving and living the life of their dreams. These stories of success make me bolder and braver.
To have confidence in my art, to know that spirit is calling the shots and going ahead of me and creating miracles and meetings and helping me make my way, that is the way to success.
I told you all that I got a new gallery, but I never told you the story as to how it happened, and I think I should, it will help you see what I keep babbling about :-).
For a while now I have been visiting a friend's mom in a nursing home (G), now G has a roommate (E), E has a son (B). The son and I were talking one day and I mentioned my paintings, he just happened to own a gallery(I had no idea he owned a gallery). I took pieces down for him to see and B and his wife loved them.
That is how spirit works, no fuss, no muss. No striving or pounding on doors.
Where all this will lead, only spirit knows, but I am going to continue to float down this river and see what happens. I am so glad you are here to go with me :-).
Happy Monday! XOXO

Loving my life...

I have been a little blue lately, due mostly to those darn hormones, but today the clouds lifted and I realized again for the millionth time that to be happy one must accept what is, and not just accept it, but embrace it, love it even. This is my wish: To fall in love with my life, just as it is warts and all. I may paint for the rest of my life and never make a living at it, I love painting and will do it even if I never sell another painting, so why be sad because I am not one of the lucky few who make it? I may never meet a man I can love and live with (sometimes it is hard to find that perfect combination :-), but I have tons of lovely friends and my four animal boys, so I am never lonely and I am a loner by nature, so perhaps it is a blessing in disguise. I will trust that whatever is going on in my life, it is there for a reason, a teaching or a blessing and all I have to do is accept it and find the good. This way of life is also informed by being brave, since I have been doing the be brave project, I have learned that whenever I get scared, I remember how brave I am and it makes me more brave (did that make sense?). Brave enough to put one foot in front of the other and trust that I can do whatever I have to and be happy doing it :-).
What did you have to accept lately and what were you brave about this week?
XOXO

No Fear

Perhaps the world is falling apart, who am I to know,
but I will tell you one thing I have learned, worry does
not help. When things happen that I have no power over,
I have found it is best to let go and trust that everything
that is happening is for my best, no matter how awful it
may seem. It is often easier said than done, but I attempt
to accept what I can do nothing about.
Since doing the Be Brave project (which I will do for life :-),
I have learned to stick my tongue out at fear. I first
stare it down, stand up really tall and laugh.
What is there to fear? Oh, I guess there are a million things
to be afraid of, but I figure I really don't have the time.
We are given such a small, fleeting bit of time, what a waste
to be in fear, ever. Of course, sometimes fear comes in handy
and we need to heed it, but most of the time we fear things
that will NEVER happen. I have abused fear in my lifetime,
by letting it get the best of me when there was nothing there,
just some story I told myself. Fear is now my friend, it was meant
only to let us know when to flee, but our society has twisted it
into a full time profession :-). I am so grateful that I found
the Be Brave project, it has changed my life.
Speaking of brave, my cousin R is the bravest person I know,
he is facing chemo next week and he is so full of positive energy
and life. He makes me ashamed to complain about anything.
Thank you all for your prayers.
Hope you all had a grand Monday, let me know what fears
you stared down this week.

When you leap...

The net appears. I have heard that saying a lot, but
I had never experienced it. Now I have. I felt the net
forming the minute I quit my job, which felt very
much like jumping off a cliff :-). I have another wee
job tomorrow and for the last two days I have worked
on glazing the nine clay pieces I have done. Glazing
is every bit as hard as I have been told and I am afraid
none of my pieces will be saleable, but I won't know until
they are fired. It's okay, I will learn :-). During the last few
days I have felt so calm and so loved and so very taken
care of. I KNOW all is well and I will never take or stay
in another job because of fear. This Be Brave project has
been the most powerful thing I have ever done. I am into my
second month and I am committed to it for life. I must say
it can be intense, look how much my life has changed since
I started doing it. I recommend it to anyone who is feeling
stuck or wants to change their life in a hurry :-).
Thanks for all of your moral support. I love you.

Being more Brave

This being brave stuff keeps getting more intense :-).
When I asked myself what I really wanted to do (not
what should I do, or what do I have to do) the answer
was clear:ART. I want to paint, make pottery and sculptures
and write. It may take some time to get it all going, but
my plan is to do odd jobs and do my art. Mind you I have
very little money and the only thing in place is that some
of my paintings are in a gallery already. When I get new
photos taken of my work I am going to do a mass email
to almost every gallery in Santa Fe. If I have two galleries
I have more of a chance to sell. I am also going to finish my book
and sell it as an e-book. My plan for the pottery is to sell it
on the blog or open an Esty shop(Suki, would you give me
your take on that?) and sell pottery and small paintings there.
Another thing I plan to do is apply for the Krasner/Pollock grant.
In the mean time I will do any job that comes up and I may get
a weekend job at a gallery (going Saturday to check that out).
Today I got my fired pottery pieces back and they all made it!
Now I am off to begin the glazing adventure :-). I promise to
show pictures of before and after.
That in a nutshell is what I plan to do. If any self employed
of you out there has any advice, please share. Thanks.

My day

It usually starts here 4-5 days a week. This is where I run.

Actually my day starts with coffee and meditation :-). Then I run.

After that I do all the things we all do to get ready for our day.
Today was a day off, so I did errands and then I had some

excitement. I took my clay to get fired :-). It was actually one

of my Be Brave challenges. It should not be a scary thing to

do, but it was for me. Why? I think it is because it is something

new and unknown. I love the way I feel after I do the stuff I am afraid

of and today was no different. I had some fun and bought some glazes

which I am excited to try and the very best thing of all is that I learned

there is a tool called a glazing pencil! That means I can draw on the clay.

I can't explain exactly why that makes my heart sing, but it does :-).

I won't be able to pick up the fired pieces until next Thursday, so I

will work on the book until then. Oh, another fun thing that happened

was, as I was driving to the firing place, I had a thought that I may see

my friend Joe there (he is a maker of beautiful clay sculptures). Sure

enough he arrived just minutes after I did. I love when that happens :-).

It was a lovely day, and there are still a few more hours left of it.

How was your day? What great thing happened to you today?

Have a beautiful evening everyone.

Being Brave

I am on week two of the Be Brave project and I want to share
a few insights. Some days I do 3 or 4 brave things and then some
days nothing comes up to challenge me. I figure it all evens out.
How I am doing this, is: during the day if something I need or want
to do makes me feel uncomfortable I get quiet and listen, to figure
out if it is fear or something else, like common sense :-). If it is fear
I push through it and do it anyway. It always feels good. I think I
could become addicted to this. I can't believe almost two weeks have
passed already. Something else I have noticed, it can be the smallest,
most normal things that scare me, like a making a phone call, or visiting
a new friend. I am not sure why that is, but it feels good to override
the fear. I encourage all of you to try it. You don't have to commit to
the project, but just try it out for yourself, the next time something
comes up that scares you. I promise it will enliven your life :-).
Anything that helps you be less on auto pilot is a good thing.
Happy Friday!

Be Brave

First Jessie inspired me when she did the Be Brave project and now Kelly is doing it and Jessie is doing it for a second time, so I decided I would join them this time around as I would be in good company. I started yesterday, but today it is official :-). You make up your own rules as to how long you do this, but basically you do one brave thing a day for however long you commit. I am not sure how long I will do it, but I commit for at least one month. I may go longer. When I started thinking about this project I realized I have been doing brave things for a long time. Like the time I moved here without any money, a job or knowing anyone except a sales person I met on a vacation here, she ended up leaving town very soon after I arrived. That was pretty brave. It is really the small brave acts that I force myself to do that make the most difference I think. I won't be telling you the day by day, but you will hear about the highlights :-). I saw how this project changed Jessie's life and I am excited to begin this new adventure. Starting this project is today's brave thing :-). Join me if you like, the more the merrier. XOXOXO