Dreams are Real

Actually I think dreams are more real than life. Most of you know that I think that the world is a hologram (goggle it and you will see that I am not the only one :-), and if that is true and I believe it with my whole heart, then dreams are where we do the real spiritual stuff of living our real lives. It is just a theory. I have been asking Spike to come see me in a dream and to let me know that he is okay (you can think I am crazy, I don't care) and he finally came and it was a wonderful dream. He came and I kept telling everyone in my dream that "See, Spike is still alive, not dead at all" And this is indeed the real truth. I can't see him, but he is still very much alive and well and somewhere lovely, I am sure. I miss him so much, and I am still sad and still cry, but it feels ever so much better knowing he is happy. XOXO

My Week in Pictures

I went looking for joy this week. You can't be sad 24 hours a day And Spike would not want me to be, so I went looking and I found me some. The two tip top photos are of my good friend B and her baby L, what dolls they both are :-). Lots of joy there. Then there is a photo of a friend's dog, Finn, joy abounds there with tennis balls :-). Then a photo of new baby cow life, plenty of joy there. And last, a photo of a new bud vase, no end to the joy in making these. Which I am off to make more of this very day. Thank you for your prayers and love. I miss Spike like you would not believe, but I won't quit seeking joy, no never, and I won't quit finding it. XOXO

Spike 1998-2011 The BEST Cat in the World

I did the hardest thing I have ever done this morning. I said goodbye to the very best cat in the world. I love all my animals, but Spike was special and he knew it and so did everyone who knew him. The vet said I did all I could do and that yes, it was time to let go. I gave him an hour out in the yard, which he loved so much. It is all brown and shady, but he did not care, he perked up for a few minutes, it was the best I could do for the last morning of his life.

I have many stories of Spike, but I will tell you a few. Once I had a peeping tom and it was back when I only had Spike and Mr. B his brother (who passed six months ago). Spike was on the window sill and he was going crazy. Yowling and carrying on, I went and looked out and saw a man in a ski mask and called the police. Spikee my watch cat.

The first time I ever let him out in my yard he literally jumped up and clicked his back heels in joy. I will never forget that, the image is forever in my mind.

Spike liked to cuddle with me at night, he was my snuggle bunny and I will miss that more than I can say. He also liked to get up on my chest, right in my face and give me what I called kitty massages. I don't know what I will do with out him, I really don't.

Spike was a super smart, loving, friendly cat, he was my love and I will never forget him.

I do not believe in death, I think the spirit moves on and no one will ever convince me otherwise, but Spike is gone from me, from here and that is what I grieve. I am so grateful that I had him 1 year and 4 months past his expiration date (the day he had kidney failure) due to the subQ fluids I gave him and changing his food. To all of you out there with cats, please feed them mostly wet, grain free, preferably organic food with no by products, it could save their lives, this is something I did not know. I believe the reason my two cats died early was because I fed them all dry non organic food. Yes, the wet does cost a small fortune, but if I can do it anyone can. Don't say you were not educated about it, because now you are :-), there is much on the web about this just google it. I owe it to the memory of Spike to pass on this information.

I am closing with a prayer for grace, that I won't be sad forever.

Spike and I both thank you for your many prayers over the past two years.

Love and hugs. XOXO

Prayers for Spikee

Spike actually came out from under the bed this afternoon and sat on the sofa in the sun, I took this photo. I am thinking I may not have the chance to take many more. I do believe in miracles though and I have decided to do all I can this weekend to save his life. One day he seems better the next day not, so I am giving him another week maybe a little less or more and then I will be taking him to the vet and he will likely be put out of his misery. If he cannot have any joy in his life then I can't keep him alive just so I won't miss him. I won't let him suffer for months until he goes on his own by starving. I know what is going on is his kidneys and I know we have already done all we can do. By giving him fluids I have prolonged his life by 1 year and 4 months and I am so grateful for that. I have been thinking a lot about letting go and about getting old and dying. Finding a way to come to peace about it all. I am at peace what ever I need to do for Spike, we are taking it one day, one minute at a time. Today was a pretty good day. I appreciate all of your prayers and good thoughts, please continue :-). I will fight for my little guy, but I also want to know in my heart when to give up that fight and let him go. Love. XOXO

Book Love and an Early Animal Wednesday

Kj, sent the book she wrote to Lori, lovely Lori sent it to me. I loved it! It is a must read for all romantics. Soulful and beautifully written about a married woman with kids who falls in love with another woman and also gets cancer. It is sad, but has it's happy moments too. To me it is about listening to your heart and being true to yourself no matter what. I will be passing it on to Becky, who will pass it on as well...If you would like to buy Kj's book, go HERE.

This is Zoe, my new cat. She has become a real member of the family and she is a doll baby :-).

Thank you everyone for prayers and good thoughts for Spike, he seems a tiny bit better and at least is not getting worse. Keep saying those prayers.

And just a reminder, my 15% off Spring sale in my ETSY shop is over in 3 days! Just type chick in the coupon window at check out to get the 15% off all items. Happy Week!! XOXO

Hodge Podge and a Winner of the Give Away

Happy Birthday to me :-). These are my newest feather/bud vases, all small about 2" to 3", but I had to re clear gloss them, so they are going back to the kiln. poop.

The winner of my give away is (drum roll please) the wonderful and talented Lynn. I will pick out something specially for you dear heart.

In other totally unrelated news, I had a dream and in my dream an older very famous artist (no one real, this was a character made up in my dream by me) told me that I needed to blog less and do art more. I am taking this to heart. I have already slowed down my blogging, and posting but I will be slowing down even more, so if I don't visit as much please forgive me. What with working full time, my four animals and life in general there seems to be so little time to do what I love most, so blogging will have take a back seat.

And last but not least, please pray for my little Spike, he is hardly eating and hiding under the bed, he is the cat with the kidney problems, the one I give subQ fluids to. I have been giving him fluids daily and he seemed to get better, but now seems to be getting worse. I know in the sea of misery that is Japan and the world this seems small, but he is the love of my life and it would mean the world to me if you could just send up a small prayer or good thought for him. Thank you.

And don't forget 15% off all items in my ETSY shop for one more week, just type in chick when the coupon window pops up at check out.

Happy Saint Paddy's! XOXO

Blessings

I thought I would share my new banner for my ESTY site. I also thought that I would give you a run down of what has been happening and what I have been doing, if only because I use this blog as a sort of diary. It has been a wonderful week and that after a terrible week. I won't dwell on the terrible week, especially not after the great week I just had :-). First, this week I took my Spike to the vet for his 6 month check up to see if the stone in his bladder had grown and to check on his kidney's (he is the cat who had kidney failure 1 year and 2 months ago) and we got great news, the stone has not grown and his kidney numbers are almost normal, an improvement since his last tests. This had me doing the dance of joy :-). Next, I went to the place I have my ceramics fired and when I got money out to pay, the owner said that someone had come in and paid 100 dollars in my name, so I had a 100 dollar credit! How wonderful is that. Then today I found a 20 dollar bill! Tomorrow I am going to Santa Fe with a friend, so who knows what other wonderful things are in store. Have a Happy weekend! XOXO P.S. I almost forgot, my darling blogger friend from England, Melanie sent me the most wonderful gift, a bag she made along with a lavender sachet, when I get pictures taken I will show you! Thank you Melanie!

Animal Wednesday and other stuff

I thought for the next 3 Wednesdays I would feature one of my boys.

This is Spike. He is a most wonderful cat. Spike is Mr. B's brother and

he is the cat I give SubQ fluids to twice a week. He is a trooper and I love

him with all my heart.

Also now in my ETSY shop, little mod 4"x 4" paintings based on drawings

I did for pages for Mim's Artshine book.

Last, but not least, it is my Mom's birthday. Happy Birthday Mom! I love you.

Happy Animal Wednesday! XOXO

Animal Wednesday (a little early)

My handsome Spike went to the vet today (see below post). I did not get the miracle I wanted,

but I did get the minimum I was willing to accept. The stone in his bladder has not gotten smaller, but it is not bigger either. He is basically the same and holding his own. He has lost a pound and a half, which I thought was a good thing as he is an overweight kitty, but the vet said it was not good for him to lose weight as it stresses his kidneys, this makes no sense to me. Any vet techs out there want to explain, please do. I am grateful he is not worse. We will continue to do our best. Everyday with Spike is a great gift. He is a wonderful, wonderful cat. Thank you all for your prayers and love. XOXO

Spike

I was going to do a Memorial Day post, but there is a little guy in my life named Spike who has a very important day tomorrow and I wanted to ask all of you to say prayers for a miracle.

Spike goes to the vet tomorrow to have blood tests and x-rays. We need to see what is happening with the stone in his bladder and also how he is doing since his kidney failure almost 7 months ago. The vet told me a lot of things and mostly she told me that everything I want the tests to say tomorrow is impossible, however I believe in miracles and I am expecting her to tell me that the stone has disappeared and that he no longer needs sub-Q fluids. At the very least I want her to tell me that the stone has not grown and that he is doing fine. I just won't allow anything else. I love this boy.

I am also remembering all my loved ones that have passed on, all my grandparents, my dad, my cousins, many friends and of course our dear Renee.

Blessings and love to you today. xoxo

Animal Wednesday

See this handsome fella, this is Spike, my love. He is the one who gets the subQ fluids twice a week. My neighbor who had been helping me hold him, got sick about 3 weeks ago and Spike and I have been on our own, but we manage as Spike is so good and sweet. He is a wiggle worm, but

we are doing well. He had a hard time with fluids tonight, so I thought he deserved a post all his own. XOXO

Animal Wednesday

I have not joined Animal Wednesday, but occasionally I like to participate.

The first photo is Spike and Max, middle is Mr.B and Zeus and last is My little B, he is so thin because he has been very sick, he used to weigh 19 pounds! He is on the road to recovery and is begging for food now, all the time! Spike has been sick too, but he is doing great now.

Zeus however is showing signs of confusion and bewilderment and I think it is senility as he is very old. It makes me sad, but he still lights up and becomes himself enough that it is not time

say goodbye. Max is Mr. Healthy, he is also very young, the newest kid on the block.

Happy Wednesday. XOXO ♥

Updates

Things on one hand are getting suckier(I know it is not a real word, but it is now) and on the other hand I have lots of jobs and money is coming in, so that has been helpful. The sucky part is that my cousin R is going fast and is not expected to live until Christmas. His family is in a lot of heavy pain right now. And it is Christmas. Somehow that makes it all so much worse. I am going to miss him very much.
Also very sucky is that my cat B is still ill and is now having more issues. Spike is holding.
I do have fun plans for Christmas, I am only hoping that I will be able to do them, as long as I don't have some emergency with the cats.
I have two dear friends coming for dinner to my house. I have a bottle of champagne and hopefully for this one day I can have peace and joy and fun and leave all the ugliness outside in the cold.
I love you.xoxo

What I Learned Last Week

Life can be rough, it can suck and it can break your heart, but even at it's worst there is always a bit of magic to be found. On my worst day with Spike, the day I thought he was gone, I said to myself "When are you going to LIVE how you BELIEVE?". That thought turned me around.
It has been my mantra. I believe that all things happen for a reason, I believe I can trust the process. I am taking all things that come to me as a gift. Some days I do better than others, but I am learning.
Spike is home and happy. I have to give him the fluids twice a week and the vet and I decided to not risk his life with the surgery to take his stone out. Everyday I have with him is a precious gift
and I see it always has been. Same for everything. I wish that I could always see this, when I am in a hurry or stressed, I often miss all the treasures around me.
I had a lovely gift arrive yesterday in the form Of blogger friend Kj. We had little time, but made good use of it. I will share photos of the meeting soon and (gasp) you may just get to see what I look like :-).
Another gift was the wonderful Kate P, blogger, and art supporter who bought stuff on my ETSY site and helped so much to boost my moral. Thank you Kate P!
Today is my mom's birthday- HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!!!! Love you.
Have a great Tuesday everyone. XOXO

What's Up and New Work

Least you think my life is just Spike, Spike, Spike, other things are going on. I have not had time to make new work, but I have been taking photos of new things as I can, the top photo is of 4 lovely porcelain cups that did not make it, they look like the elephant man they are so full of bubbles, this is what porcelain does when you don't get all the bubbles out and it is almost impossible to know when you have got all the bubbles out. Porcelain and I are having our fist fight :-). I am up to the challenge though. The other photos are of small 2 1/2" wall hangings, the middle two are porcelain mix and the top and bottom are porcelain. So far nothing is selling on ETSY and I am a little down about it, but I won't give up on that either.

In other news, the gallery I have my paintings in, is closing and I have to go pick up my paintings this week. It is another blow in this week of blows, but I know it is probably for the best.

Spike news: I was able to give him his fluids this morning after 3 attempts and pokes. It is much harder on him than me. I do believe we will both get used to it after time. Thank you for your continued prayers and good thoughts.

What are you up to today? Happy Sunday! XOXO

Spike-Update

He is doing well, not perfect, but acting like the old Spike and feeling better. Tomorrow will be the first time I give him his fluids by myself. I will need to be brave :-). I hate needles, but that is not really the hard part, now that I have done it at the vet's it was not so bad, but the part I don't get, is how do I hold him and get that needle where it goes? If Spike survives I will be giving him fluids twice a week for the rest of his life, so I best get used to it.
Thanks to Willowtree, Teri and my friend V sending me links I have found out so much about the food we feed our animals. And I am ANGRY! Angry that no one regulates the crap they put in pet food and angry that dry cat food is the main reason for a bunch of cat diseases like kidney failure. I found out too late for Spike and B, but I can perhaps save Max (he is only 2 1/2 years old) from harm. Why don't the vets tell people about this? I told my vet, who is a lovely wonderful person, and she looked at me with disbelief, but I will keep at her until she gets it and realizes that it is true. If any animal loves are interested, here are a couple links to start you with:
http://www.catsofaustralia.com/cat-kidney-disease.htm

http://www.homevet.com/petcare/feedingyourcat.html

Spike goes back to the vet Monday for more blood tests. Keep praying. Love you, XOXO

Spike-Update

Spike is home for an overnight, I am to take him back in the morning and he will stay for the day while I am at work. He could go right back into the state he was in, so if he gets through the next 48 hours, that is the test. We are still waiting on the surgery. I will be giving him fluids every month, with a needle, but they said it is not bad and that they will teach me. Anyway this is a huge couple days for Spike, if he goes back into kidney failure I will have to put him to sleep. Keep praying. At the very least I have one more night with him. He is very funny right now, full of it and very mad :-). This is a very stressful time, but I will honor whatever Spike Chooses. I am so grateful to have this time with him, however small. Thank you all for your support and love.
Willowtree would you email me any info you have about the food issues, if it is not too much trouble? It just so happens I feed my cats dry cat food.
Blessings, XOXO

Spike is Better!!!!

They saved his life, but he is not out of the woods yet. He also has stones in his bladder, I am meeting with the vet this afternoon to talk about what is next. He has made it through the worst, so I think the rest will be a piece of cake for him, well maybe not cake, but easier. I have also been doing some research on kidney disease in cats (my cat B also suffers from it). I was told there was nothing I could do for B except give him special food (which I do), but I am learning that there are things I can do. I have much to learn so I can help my boys and also prevent my younger cat Max from suffering with this. I will let all you cat lovers know what I find out over the coming months. Keep your prayers coming. Thank all of you so much! XOXO

Spike Update

I visited Spike this afternoon and he was so much happier and seemed a lot better. We won't know for sure until tomorrow morning and then he has other issues to deal with. He is by no means out of the woods, but he is better. Keep praying. Love you, XOXO (photo is of Mr. B and Spike)

Spike

It is not good. He has kidney failure and is at the vets with and IV drip, he has other issues as well, but the kidney issue is life threatening. It does not mean he can't make it (my little guy is a fighter), but he may not. I appreciate all your prayers and good thoughts. I am working everyday for the next week and a half and between that and Spike I won't be blogging much or posting, but I will let you know what is happening with Spike. Please continue to send him blessings.
Thank you, XOXO