I did the hardest thing I have ever done this morning. I said goodbye to the very best cat in the world. I love all my animals, but Spike was special and he knew it and so did everyone who knew him. The vet said I did all I could do and that yes, it was time to let go. I gave him an hour out in the yard, which he loved so much. It is all brown and shady, but he did not care, he perked up for a few minutes, it was the best I could do for the last morning of his life.
I have many stories of Spike, but I will tell you a few. Once I had a peeping tom and it was back when I only had Spike and Mr. B his brother (who passed six months ago). Spike was on the window sill and he was going crazy. Yowling and carrying on, I went and looked out and saw a man in a ski mask and called the police. Spikee my watch cat.
The first time I ever let him out in my yard he literally jumped up and clicked his back heels in joy. I will never forget that, the image is forever in my mind.
Spike liked to cuddle with me at night, he was my snuggle bunny and I will miss that more than I can say. He also liked to get up on my chest, right in my face and give me what I called kitty massages. I don't know what I will do with out him, I really don't.
Spike was a super smart, loving, friendly cat, he was my love and I will never forget him.
I do not believe in death, I think the spirit moves on and no one will ever convince me otherwise, but Spike is gone from me, from here and that is what I grieve. I am so grateful that I had him 1 year and 4 months past his expiration date (the day he had kidney failure) due to the subQ fluids I gave him and changing his food. To all of you out there with cats, please feed them mostly wet, grain free, preferably organic food with no by products, it could save their lives, this is something I did not know. I believe the reason my two cats died early was because I fed them all dry non organic food. Yes, the wet does cost a small fortune, but if I can do it anyone can. Don't say you were not educated about it, because now you are :-), there is much on the web about this just google it. I owe it to the memory of Spike to pass on this information.
I am closing with a prayer for grace, that I won't be sad forever.
Spike and I both thank you for your many prayers over the past two years.
Love and hugs. XOXO
26 comments:
KJ told me that Spike was not doing well. This is so heartbreaking....as you remember I knew him well and loved him deeply.
You were the best Mum to him - ever. He knew that. He lived a good and full life - what an personality he had. A one-in-a-million cat. I shall miss him ....but now he is with B and Marilyn.
♥ Robin ♥
Robin, Yes, I told her to let you know. I did not have the strength to email you yet. Thank you. I am not sure how I will get on with out him.
Oh Annie :(
I have been dreading this day right alongside of you. I know how hard you worked to give him that extra time on this earth.
What an unselfish, loving decision you made.
I'm sorry you're so sad. I can only imagine the emptyness. I know you'll find the grace you've asked for.
Big hugs to you and the fur persons in your house who will miss his big presence.
xoxo
lo♥
It was so unselfish of you to do this. I know Spike thanks you for it, as he dashes about in his very own backyard.
I know very well how much this hurts. Give yourself some gentle time...the waves of grief will not be as huge given a few days. Take care,sweetie.
Thank you Lo. And thank you marion, I appreciate your caring.
xoxo
Victoria, thank you sweetie.xoxo
Dear Annie, I am so behind in visiting, but had to stop and send healing thoughts your way. I truly know your heart is aching, and life will be different from here, but you both loved each other dearly, and that will never change. You and he have a bond that will never be broken...
I found this story recently and it so rings true for us who have lost a beloved pet...
Living Love
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember…
The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter – simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room – and when you feel it brush against you for the first time – it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.
The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your long-time friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep where you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend’s diet – and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.
And on this day – if your friend and God have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own – on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you – you will feel as alone as a single star in the dark night. If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you. But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul – a bit smaller in size than your own – seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come. And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg – very, very lightly. And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lie – you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time passes, the ache will come and go as it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.
But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when – along with the memory of your pet – and piercing through the heaviness in your heart – there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love – like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this love will remain and grow – and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our beloved pets – it is a love that we will always possess.
~ Written by Martin Scot Kosins, Author of “Maya’s First Rose” ~
Hi dear Annie,
just thinking about you... i don't know what else to say, as my words would not likely give you comfort now, and i know you are so sad. :(
He did live a long & wonderful life with wonderful YOU! And I know you are grateful for that...
Take good care of yourself...
talk soon.
♡
@Teri: Thanks for reproducing Living Love, it made me cry.
@Annie: I know this was a tough decision. Huge hugs from across the seas.
Ah Annie. I'm so sorry. I hope you've felt and are still feeling the many prayers we've been saying and sending. I hope you feel surrounded by the love and care of your many friends. Lo is right, you made a tough and entirely unselfish decision.
However hard it is Annie I hope you feel some comfort from knowing that Spike had such a happy life with you. You did a lot to make that happen. When we love our animal friends they love us back and that doesn't change even when they move on to the spirit world.
I wish I knew better words of comfort. Big huge hug from here. And love. Lots of it. xx Jos
I'm so sorry about dear Spike. I'm glad he had a last time outdoors. What lovely stories you have of him and memories. Having lost Miss Em not so long ago, I know how sad it is. Many blessings to Spike. Big hugs for you. Suki
Annie, I do know how it feels, the empty space and unreal loss. Why such deep love also involves deep loss is a mystery of the heavens. This first photo of spike is so very beautiful . I'm glad you wrote down these memories. Never ever to be forgotten. I think Marion's gracious Nate will no doubt suspend chasing to make sure spike settles in comfortably..
With love Annie,
kj
Teri-Thank you so much for that and for all your help.xoxo
Becky, Lubna, Jos, Suki and Kj-Thank you so much for all your loving words.My heart is heavy and I am very sad, but it is okay.xoxo
Very, very sorry for your loss. There's a special love that we have for our animals and it's a deep loss when they leave us. much love to you...
i'm so sorry annie. hugging you and sending love.
lori
Oh, Annie, I am so sorry. He sounds like such a wonderful kitty, and I know when one of our furkids passes, it leaves a mighty big hole in our lives. I hope you know that you were the best mom in the world to Spike. I am so sad for your loss. Love and hugs to you - xoxoxo Pam
Annie, I am finally up to date with your blog. Oh my sweet sister! Hugs hugs hugs. It does get better and some days are better than others. You did all you could and you gave him a happy and fulfilled life.
Just read this and I feel so bad! But he was a loved and loving cat and his spirit will always be with you god it's hard to be human and have these short lived furry loves.
With sympathy--Spike sounds like an awesome kitty companion. Enjoy your rest (or romp in a heavenly backyard), dear Spike. Big hug for you, Annie.
Awe Annie, I know exactly how you feel. I'm so sorry, truly.
I know he's with my beautiful Callie, and they're giving each other those wonderful kitty massages that we used to get. I know it's almost unbearable right now, but it will ease some. In time.
Prayers for you,,,you will be better.
Dear Annie, I am so sorry to hear about Spike! Having had to make the same decision for some of our furry children, I know just how heart-broken you must be! I feel for you and keep you in my thoughts and heart!! Sending you much love and a big hug!! Silke
Sorry Annie... I understand the loss. I
take care
love to you
xx Robyn
i am so sorry for your loss. :(
xoxo
Everyone-Thank you so much for your kind and loving words.xoxo
Annie, my heart goes out to you. I remember the last time I lost a furry soul mate. It hurt for a very long time and still sometimes hurts. My thoughts are with you.
My deepest sympathies on losing your beloved Spike.
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