The last post opened up such a lovely dialogue I wanted to add a few thoughts I have been having, now these ideas are for those of you that want to be positive, but find it hard, those of you that want to be negative can ignore this post altogether :-). First while I am a positive person, I still get sad, have down days and negative thoughts.
Being positive did not come naturally for me, I had to work at it and have been working on it for 30 years. I make the great effort because being positive makes me happier than being negative which depresses me. For those out there that are depressed because of chemicals in the brain or hormones, I am not talking about that kind of depression which may take drugs to fix. I am referring to being down and out because of the thoughts you are entertaining. I have learned through years of practice that you can control your thoughts. Really you can :-). This does not mean you stuff your feelings. Feel how you feel, be it sad or happy. If you are sad, feel it, but don't stay there. Think happier thoughts. I know it is not always easy, but once you practice this for a while you see how it works and it gets easier. When I am sad it is because I am telling myself a sad story about my life, once I realize what I am doing, I ask myself if I like the story?
No. So I quit telling it and like magic, the sun comes out again. Lots of stuff in life is icky and many things are horrific and unwanted, we are all faced with these things in a lifetime, but most of life is beautiful, wondrous and joyous and I personally choose to focus on those things.
Thank you all for your beautiful, honest comments in the last post. Happy Thursday! XOXO
Thursday, March 26, 2009
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8 comments:
Morning Annie, yes I think it is possible to help yourself to focus on the good of a situation rather than the bad- the half full glass rather than the half empty. Same situation just 2 view points. I feel it is healthier and makes you more resilient to view things in a positive way if you can.
Is this brain re-training building new neural pathways so the more often you use them the more of a highway they become instead of a dirt track? I don't know. I do know that you can only make yourself unhappy and possibly those around you if all you do is look at the world negatively. You are putting barriers and limits around yourself which distort your life.
Glad you think so :P love/M
thanks for your in depth explanation. I too have been working at retraining my thoughts.
"Feel how you feel, be it sad or happy. If you are sad, feel it, but don't stay there."
What a great way to put it! I am learning to feel the emotion instead of stuffing it. However, secretly I have been terrified that I will get stuck in that negative feeling. But you have said it beautifully and I will take it to heart.
I am a reformed emotion-aholic. I used to be controlled by my emotions...I was a truly unpredictable and volatile person and then after a series of decimating and humbling experiences I realized that I was being swallowed whole by my own misery. So I had to learn this the hard way.
I still have crappy days and bad attitudes (especially lately) and it's not always easy to change thoughts, or to just observe an emotion as if it's not a part of me...the real me...but I will say this: I am much more resilient than I've ever been because the empirical knowledge that I've created everything that's happened to me, is actually quite empowering. It just means that if I created something I don't like, I can create something better.
I haven't read your last post...I've been off sulking I guess, and seeing shamans and crying in the bathroom, you know, finding myself stuff...and so I haven't read anything. I can't wait to catch up on what I've been missing. : )
I've been thinking good thoughts for you and your mom (when I'm in a good mood of course, not the sulking moods). I hope everything is working out beautifully.
I'm so glad you're continuing with this topic. I really find this post to be most helpful. Allowing myself to feel what I'm feeling is something I've been working on for quite a while. Otherwise, I stuff it until it comes out in other unhealthy ways. This mindfulness helps me redirect my thoughts once I've allowed myself to acknowledge what I'm feeling. Thanks, Annie!
I was very hopeful and encouraged when some meditation teachers I highly respect said it took them thirty years to be more peaceful. It's not that they do not feel all the negative human emotions. They see them for what they are, and then choose to respond with compassion and love instead of anger and judgement.
Thank you for this insight. You have just confirmed what I am learning. There is hope if I continue to try! I'm so glad you are finding this to be true for you.
Hi Annie,
Just catching up with you. I really appreciate this reminder to just feel what I am feeling. I would like to feel much better than I do and I can tell I'm pushing myself. Every part of us is loveable and that part that doesn't feel good has a perspective for me, too. Thanks for the reminder!
I love your blog because of the positive energy you beam out into the blogosphere. I like seeing the pictures and hearing about your happiness in creating or whatever is going on in your life.
Wishing you a beauty of a day.
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