BLISSFUL-BOHEMIAN

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Struggling

For the last few weeks I have been struggling with something and I thought I would ask you all what you do when you need to let go of a person, someone you love very much. How do you do it? How do you stop loving someone? Or is letting go different than not loving? I can easily put a stop to negative thoughts and even not thinking about this person, but then wham I am thinking of them and when I do I feel sad. I know I am not the first who has had to deal with this, so if any of you have some sure fire remedy please share :-). Thanks.

9 comments:

robinbird said...

this is a difficult request annie. all i can tell you is what i do. i pray for the willingness to let go, to love and to let go. it works but often only temporarily.
peace to you
xo

WT said...

Sadly, I'm the wrong person to ask about this, I have a personality flaw that allows me to cut people out of my life without a second thought.

Em said...

I'm not sure you can stop loving but if you accept that it isn't to be and open your heart to something new eventually it won't hurt anymore. :-)

M.Kate said...

Oh..Annies, I think if we love someone deeply, we will continue to love the person forever. It's probably difficult to stop loving someone..maybe letting go is better. I know it is tough and I've been there, couldnt stop loving or even let go. Maybe the time is not right yet and there's a saying here..if the eyes sees the pain or burden, the heart feels it many times more. I really wish I could impart some wisdom on this...

M.Kate said...

..but do know that I love you as my friend :D

sukipoet said...

Oh Annie. I am sorry you are struggling. I agree with those who have said, you never stop loving someone once you love them. Maybe you love them in a different way though. Also, to me letting go and loving someone arent antithetical. Sometimes, it is just not healthy to remain friends whith particular people, yet one can still love them. That's the way it was when I got divorced which made it so painful and hard. I loved X but could no longer live with him and his negative side. i had to say goodbye, but knew I still loved him. At least then. Sure fire remedy?? I dont know the answer to that except: time.

Annie Coe said...

You are all so sweet, thank you for each and every comment-Talking to my best friend today and came to the conclusion that it is a process and takes time, darn I thought perhaps there was a magic pill I could take!

Melanie said...

Hi Annie, I think letting go and accepting that a person hasn't got it in them to be who/what you want them to be is easier than stopping loving them. I have family members who I love but know I don't like as people. I know I can't and shouldn't even attempt to change them, so I have had to take the route which causes me less pain: avoid them. The less I see of them, the less head space they have taken up, in time. The distance (time and emotional) has also helped me to re-accept some of them into my life at a very superficial level without pain.

Sorry very waffley, but I hope you understand.

Sizzle said...

I think you just have to feel sad. Be in the sadness and ride it out. Because if letting go is what you need to do for yourself, you will struggle with those feelings. It's really hard but when it's the healthy/right thing to do, in the long run you will benefit.

I'm sorry. :-(